This entry is dedicated to my current roomie, Cindy. I have known her for 8 years now and throughout, she has not failed to make me laugh. So, just like Bush has a whole book of Bushism, here is a compilation of Cindy-ism. First tho, there needs to be a disclosure: ydnic, I hope after this entry, you’ll still want to live with me, but I guess you have no choice, since both our names are on the lease.
Me (trying to remember phone numbers when pledging): 664-1472
C: Who’s phone number is that?
Me: Ummm, it’s yours!
Active when we were pledging: Who is Jenny Park’s hero?
C: Superman!
Jenny Park plops on the floor to do her push-ups even before actives tell Cindy the answer was Parents and God.
Cindy for the life of her cannot do the cancan, which resulted in Jane and I doing countless sit-ups.
C: Some guy asked me to go have dinner at Daruma’s. Can you guys please go there too but pretend that you didn’t know I was going to be there?
(I don’t know what all of us were thinking but we still went…thinking back, I feel sorry for her date.)
Me, washing dishes in the kitchen sink.
Cindy and a male friend were at the front door. The male friend was about to leave and went closer to Cindy to try to give her a hug.
C: High Five!!!! (and she makes the male friend give her a high five.)
After the male friend left, I started CRACKING UP SO BAD, but girls, next time you should try that when a guy tries to give you a hug…HIGH FIVE!
C: Where is a sperm from?
Me: Are you kidding? Which one do you think you have, egg or sperm?
C: I don’t know…I never took sex ed in middle school or high school. I grew up in OC, we’re pretty sheltered there.
Me: Ummm, sperms are in guys, we have eggs…
C: What is a boner?
Someone explains it to her.
Later on, some guy asks if Cindy wants to sit in his lap.
C: No way, I don’t want to give you a boner.
(At least she learned and used it in the right context!)
Cindy generates a lot a lot of trash and uses more toilet paper than Tracy and I combined. Before Tracy, Cindy and I lived together, Cindy was living in SF Sunset district with two other roommates. She had bags and bags of magazines to toss out but the Sunset house they were renting didn’t have enough trash containers. The three of them went to UCSF and tossed out Cindy’s magazines in the UCSF dumpsters. The next day, one of her roommates commented that it’s illegal to throw out trash like that and they were magazines with Cindy’s name on them. So the three of them went back to UCSF, jumped into the dumpsters, and pulled out all the trash.
C: I think it’s just these days that I’m so out of it…(these days kinda turned into 8 years…)
Cindy, Tracy and I were outside our balcony smoking…next thing you know it, Cindy kicks her slipper out of our balcony and down four floors into the bushes. I got my maglight and shined it in the bushes while Tracy and Cindy went to retrieve the lost slippers.
Tracy and I were talking about Italian Job.
C: Oh, what movie is that?
T&Me: It’s the one with Mini Cooper.
C: Oh, I know Mini Cooper, she’s the actress who guest starred on Will and Grace.
T&Me (laughing hysterically): Ummmm, that was Minnie Driver…Mini Cooper is a car
C: Mini Cooper, Minnie Driver, same difference
Guy at Kragen: How many cylinders does your car have? Four?
Cindy (thinking, what kind of question is that…can cars have more than four tires): Yeah yeah, I have Four wheels.
Dufus (laughing): Cylinders are not tires…why would he ask a question about wheels…how many honda accords have two wheels or six wheels?
(But at least Cindy got the Kragen guy to change her car battery and her windshield wiper…)
Today, I get a call from Cindy at around 10am when I was already at work. Cindy stayed home today b/c she hurt her back yesterday while we were moving.
C: Hey, you have my keys.
A: No, I don’t.
C: Yeah, did you use my keys yesterday when driving my car back? (I didn’t want her to drive and jeopardize both our lives cuz her back was injured.)
A: No, I used my set of keys. Are you sure you didn’t leave it in the new apartment?
C: No, I remember putting it in my purse.
A: Well, check our old apartment, if it’s not there, then it’s in our new apartment because I don’t have them.
Later on in the day…
C: Hey, if you go to our new apartment, can you please check the floor to see if my eyes are there?
A: HUH!?! do you mean keys, not eyes?
C: Oh yeah, keys, eyes, same thing. Shut up, I’m tired.
(I went home, picked her up and went to new apartment…guess where her “eyes” were…)
I love you roomie!!! ha ha ha…But please, just sit there and look pretty…you don’t really need to open your mouth!